Hopefully we are all aware how important forgiveness is for us to maintain a balanced and centered life. There have been times for most of us where we have been treated unjustly without regard for our feelings, or even worse, in purposely harmful ways. These events can cause us to become angry or resentful towards the individuals that hurt us. Holding on to anger towards someone for a transgression against us, whether real or perceived, serves no useful purpose in our lives. If we choose to hang on to the anger and other lower emotions around the negative event, it will slowly consume us. The anger and resentment may eventually make us ill.
If one event can consume us, what happens if there are 10 events? Or 50 or more? How will all that affect us if we hold on to the anger and resentment of our lifetimes? Over the course of our lifetimes we all are going to find ourselves in circumstances that will require our forgiveness if there is to be a healthy closure. Unless we want to attract bitterness or chronic illness into our lives, learning that forgiveness is a healing tool that we carry with us is a necessity.
Forgiving someone does not mean that what they did is OK. It also does not mean they are allowed to repeat their behavior towards us and remain in our lives if it’s a close relationship.
Forgiveness is an internal act where we acknowledge the pain that was caused, we grieve the pain, then we work through the process of grieving…… which means we let the pain come to the surface and we cry until we stop crying. It can take a while to process grief, but each time we let the tears flow, it does get a little easier, and each time we finish crying, we do feel a little better. When we complete the process of grieving, the anger should have dissipated. Dropping the anger around the event is the goal. This is not fun. Many people will do anything they can to avoid grieving, which is what brings on depression, alcoholism, and addictions that help us escape our feelings. These are also the ones that are making themselves ill that I referred to earlier.
So how did we get to Grieving when we are here to talk about Forgiveness?
Grief, often times is not optional. Grief can be cast upon us by circumstances, actions, or events that we had absolutely no control over. Forgiveness is optional. We do choose to forgive or not to forgive the other person. That decision is entirely up to us. By forgiving, we are saying, I am no longer angry or resentful for what you did. I do not want to cause you the same pain you caused me. I’m going to get on with my life now. May you have peace in your life.
I don’t believe it is possible to get to the emotional place of true forgiveness without processing the pain and grief in a healthy way. When we no longer want to cause the one who hurt us harm or get even with them in some way, we are in a place where we can truly forgive. It takes us processing the grief in a healthy way for us to be able to forgive in a healthy way. In spite of how much pain we have endured, each of us carries the capacity to forgive.
Learning to Love everyone and learning to Forgive are two of the biggest reasons we are walking this planet right now. Each of these actions expands our Soul and our capacity to shine our Light. These two actions that we choose bring us closer to Source, our Creator.
Choose Love always. Choose to Forgive after we’ve processed the pain and grief.
Peace and Love Forever! GB